Single Female – (With Options)

Society and/or cultural standards often dictates what’s expected of us.  Growing up in a large family, it was expected that I would go to college, get married in my mid 20’s and have 2 children by the time I was 30.  I would be the typical wife and mother with a demanding career.  As fate would have it, I would be engaged to my first serious boyfriend, and have a demanding career the age of 25.  It should’ve been a great time-the best years of my life.  However, I was absolutely miserable.  I would cringe at the thought of being married or pregnant so young.   But there was no way I could hurt someone I love, nor disappoint my parents.  This path would ultimately shape my life.

I didn’t get married, nor was I consumed with the thought of being married or having children.  I would dream of one day traveling the world, perhaps with my husband, and just living in the moment – a far cry from the life I was actually living.  I was living that “American Dream” at age 26.  I had purchased my first house, and a SUV. I was strapped to my career and my ambition led me back to school to obtain a master’s degree.  And I hated it all.  It wasn’t living, more like existing.

On my 30^th birthday, I decided I would make my own rules for my life, regardless of anyone thought. I walked into a dealership, traded my SUV for that sports car I wanted (that I still have), and never looked back.  I often read blogs or hear misogynistic commentaries about women like me – “too strong”, “leftovers”, “tainted” you name it, I’ve heard it.  Ironically, none of this has shaped who am I or the life I have cultivated for myself.  But it didn’t help that people closest to me would often make rude comments that somehow my life unacceptable!

Dating is something I’ve learned to keep private – even from my closest friends.  People usually aren’t optimistic, especially if they aren’t completely happy with their lives.  I like to make my own decisions and listen to my own thoughts about the people I date. I am that girl who still has friendly relationships with all of my exes.  There really isn’t a reason to truly abandon someone you once loved or in my case, will love forever– in my opinion.  Friendships and love shouldn’t end because you realize you are meant to be – happily ever after, together.

The stigma of being a single female has often puzzled me.  My emotions range from being annoyed to laughing my a$$ off.  As the single person, you are always rich (because you only have one person to take care of) yet in reality you have one income for a two- person household.  You obviously have time, so it’s important that raise abandoned children or cater to the needs of everyone.  You are often called selfish because as a single person, it really is about you.  Society rarely considers single people and when we are, it often comes with hefty price tag.

Today, I am probably more confident than I have ever been in my life.  I don’t worry about marriage or society’s expectation for me.  I’ve fallen in love more times than I ever wanted, had the most amazing loves, had my heart broken more times than I will admit, and I wouldn’t change a thing! Every one of these experiences have shaped the person I am today.

Lastly,  I never worry about being alone. I am surrounded by people who accept and love me, and that’s all that matters. Living authentically is exactly how I envisioned my life.  I would live the way I want and F$CK what people think.